I'm at work, which is unusual, but I had an experience this morning that really merited a post.
It's raining today, which usually means I wake up, eat breakfast, and find myself in a really bad mood that lasts until I get dry again, about two hours later. I try to bike to work whenever I can, and yes, that means biking in the rain. I even have a special "rain-suit" composed of a rain jacket, rain pants (from a motorcycle rain-suit outfit) and my rain boots. Completely waterproof, except for my face, which still gets spit at as I bike. It's an uncomfortable experience, to say the least. You feel like a sausage, you're hot, and you're getting spit at.
I was about ten minutes into my sausage bike experience this morning, when I came towards the central station. If we have a nice day here, I'll try and take a video, like I always promised to do, to show you how absolutely insane it gets around the central station in Utrecht in the morning. Add a hefty bunch of construction to that mix, and you have bike crashes happening all over the place.
Now, let me preface the story about this particular bike crash by saying that I have, in the past ten months, not exactly been overwhelmed with the kindness and empathy of the Dutch. In fact, it's been quite the opposite, with me becoming increasingly uncomfortable with how rude and abrupt I percieve the Dutch to be. The Dutch call it "blunt," the Americans call it, "Rude." It's a difference in what you're used to. As an example, when I went ice-skating on the canals, in February, an old woman fell down right in front of me, and no one offered to help (I was in the middle of putting one skate on, and I was going to hurt more than help, I figured). In fact, several families with children just zoomed right on past the fallen woman. I just don't think that would happen in the U.S. Second example: I went into a pharmacy here to buy antibiotic cream, not knowing that this isn't commonly available in the Netherlands like it is in the U.S. I was treated with disdain dripping with dissaproval. At first I thought the woman didn't understand me, but as the conversation went on, she dropped all pretenses of being helpful and started saying, "Look, you ignorant American, we don't have antibiotics for sale here. And you would do well to learn from us. If you did, you wouldn't have so many horrible sickenesses that have gotten out of control." At which point, it's kind of like, look, I agree with you! Antibiotics are way over-used. But I just needed something to keep a cut clean, for christ's sake!
Basically, I have lumped these experiences, and many others like it, into my perception of the Dutch as rude, sarcastic, and slightly caustic. To me, at least. I say this, of course, understanding that just because some people are this way does not mean ALL the Dutch people are this way.
Today I experienced a very good example of how my opinion may be accurate in some circumstances, but not all. In a case similar to the woman falling on the ice, I saw a nasty bike crash this morning, where a young guy pulled out right in front of an older woman. They crashed, and both bikes got entangled with their riders. The kid got himself out and immediately began to help the woman out. Within seconds, there were at least ten people helping the woman out, taking the bike off of her, making sure it was stored safely to the side. A young woman rushed up, knelt down next to the older woman, put her arm around her to stabilize her, and started asking basic medical questions. Another young woman walked over, and just as I thought she was going to go around the accident, she went up to the young woman talking to the older woman, and held her umbrella over them while the older woman tried to sit up. I mean, it was something else, watching all of these people work together to help this poor woman. And mind you, this is while it's pouring rain, and I'm sure most of these people were on their way to catch a train, or get to work.
Here's what I think. I think the Dutch have a tendency to be much more blunt than Americans, and, unfortunately, this can lead to a really hard time for an American who is used to everyone being polite. However, I think that the Dutch, as a people, are just as motivated and kind as the rest of us, should something bad occur. Just as everyone was shocked at how much good will and companionship was generated by 9/11, so too can the Dutch come together in a crisis.
It was good to be proven wrong.
That's very interesting, Kelli. I wonder what insights there are to be gathered from this? Maybe you are right, that when there is a serious accident, people step up. But wasn't the old lady on the ice kind of serious? Maybe since she didn't appear to be hurt and was able to get up on her own, and anyone helping here would have had to have very good ice skating skills, that's why people didn't offer to help. It seems that there is a fierce spirit of "do it yourself" in the Netherlands, maybe, and a bit of a culture of shame. There is pride in Dutch customs and self-sufficiency, and when they perceive someone to be weak, such as when you ask for help in your lab and are told that that is "babysitting" or when you ask for antibiotics and are told "stupid Americans and all their drugs." That might just be their way of saying, "Do it yourself, girlfriend!" (I guess in regards to your infected toe, you were supposed to stick it in some poultice made by a fairy, maybe?!!) But at any rate, I'm glad you finally saw some kindness. It's nice to hear that you think Americans are in general kind to one another because really, once you're back living here, you're going to remember that WE TOO are selective in our kindness! For example: bullying in schools, rudeness by anyone representing a public service when you need help, people who walk by while homeless guys are getting their faces eaten (seriously; go look it up)!
ReplyDeleteAs a Canadian, I find the exact opposite to be true. I find the Dutch to be outspoken, and yes perhaps blunt or abrupt, but never rude. Since being in Holland the Dutch have been incredibly lovely towards me, helping me read menus in Dutch, giving me directions and more.
ReplyDeleteAmericans on the other hand, especially when they are in other countries, I find can often be rude, demanding, and obnoxious. Not of course to say that they are all like that- I have met plenty of Americans who are lovely- but if I had to choose a country for politeness it would most certainly not be the States!